Forgive me father (/fellow gym members/ego/PT Ben), for I have sinned. It has been thirty-five days since my last confession. And it’s about dang time!!
[If you're new to Friday Confessionals, you can check the 101, or pretend that you did and just know that there are no rules - anything goes. No judging!!]
1. Worked out in Uggs…
I got to the gym around 5:45am, rearin’ n ready to go. Pulled my shorts out of the bag, put em on. Pulled my tank out of the bag, put it on. Slipped the Uggs off and pulled out the Sky Speeds… ⠋ ⠥ ⠉ ⠅!!!! (Should I also confess to swearing in braille?) My Asics were sitting happily on their shelf in the closet at home, warm, dry, and sweat-free. So I did what any stubborn redhead sensible young lady would do and worked out in the only shoes I had… the Uggs.
Kid you not, I got an awkward stare from every single person I had to walk (/crutch) past. Their facial expressions said something like AYFKM?!? (Go ahead. Urban Dictionary.) What I really wanted was a sign to hold up saying IT WAS A MISTAKE!! FORGOT SHOES AT HOME!! I DO NOT THINK IT’S CUTE TO WORKOUT IN LAMB BOOTS!! Instead, I swallowed my pride and made my way to the arm ergometer. After 40 minutes of a slow and excruciating death (with nary a drop of sweat), I switched to the recumbent bike for the remaining 20. This time I decided just-socks was the better option, at which point THREE people (in twenty minutes!) asked me where are your shoes? One of whom was wearing Vibrams. 
I forgot em’ at the sheep farm homie… don’t worry about it.
2. I can only last 20 minutes…
On my bike, that is. If someone can scientifically explain to me WHY riding your own bike on a trainer feels 20x harder than riding outdoors, or riding a spin bike, or riding a stationary bike, I would greatly appreciate it. Once I got clearance from the doc to get on the bike, I thought it would be smarter to ride my own bike on the trainer since the geometry would be the right fit.
tic tic tic – 20 minutes later
Either my fitness has tanked, or… yep. Even in the easiest gear it took MAJOR effort to make it to 20 minutes on the QRoo. Frustrated and determined not to quit, I replaced it in it’s rightful home (expensive living room artwork here!!) and got on the stationary bike. Whattya know. 40 minutes later and I felt like I had “worked” the muscles, but not like I was run over by a bus. Riddle me that, Batman….
3. Electrocuting my glutes…
Physical therapy has been going well. Exceptionally well since we brought out the electrodes!! Electrical stimulation, affectionately known as “stim”, has been used since 1791 shocking frogs in the laboratory. Its use in physical therapy and other athletic medicine settings is more recent… around the 1960s and 70s. (Never ever cite wikipedia!!)
Its use in reactivating the gluteus maximus however, at least at TRIA Orthopedic Center, is something I am delighted to set the precedent for. I’ve had big problems with my left glute ever since my first hip surgery in December of 2008, and my PT Ben and I decided enough was enough. Clamshells, side-lying hip abduction, bridges, fire hydrants… they weren’t doing squat. And I didn’t have the weight bearing ability to do squats or DLs. PT Julia, what are we missing?
So although PT Ben had never used stim on the glutes, we figured trying it couldn’t hurt. And by golly, I do think it’s starting to work! We have been combining Russian stim (which uses a slightly higher frequency) with the previously mentioned exercises, doing a 10 second on / 10 second off protocol. It is probably too early to call it a “success”, but I will say I haven’t been able to get that deep of a glute contraction in over 3 years.
“Hey Ben… can you take a picture of this? For the blog…”
Which reminds me, if you haven’t seen the YouTube video “Sh!t Triathletes Say” yet, I recommend you get on it. My buddy Steve posted it over at I Wanna Get Physical, and it is definitely worth a chuckle.
ALSO to check out if you feel so inclined: Exercise Physiology, Winter Edition on Groucho Sports, and a Workout for Super Bowl Sunday at Minnesota Tri News!
Reader Qs:
Do you have anything to confess this Friday? Share em.
-E
First, I just want to say that you live in Tiny-Sota.
Ok, I feel better now
Do you use a fan when you are on the trainer? I used to have that same feeling of, “I am only pushing 14mph yet it feels like I am climbing a freaking mountain in here!!!”
So I bought a nice fan and open the door and get my apartment VERY cold. Now it feels like riding outdoors.
Ha. I have that same living room artwork.
Trainers are just like that. Last winter I did a lot of rides indoors, and had many days where I was barely turning the pedals over, but felt like I was going to die. Yet when I go to a team trainer class, I have no problems. I don’t know what’s up with that.
@Jon – Hmmm good call on the fan. Although now that I think of it, I’m pretty sure the fan was on anyways. 97% sure it’s just being out of shape though, because I’ve pulled 3+ hr rides on the trainer with no problem before.
Tiny-sota you say, eh? Dontcha know we’re bigger than lots of states round here!?
@Rachel – Same here!! Maybe the missing factor is the cute guy in spandex riding in front of me…. will have to try that next time.
[...] gym after class today, but I realized that I forgot my shoes. My friend, Erika, was brave enough to work out in her Uggs this week- but I decided to bike back home after class to retrieve my shoes. I was a little [...]
omg im laughign you wore your uggs. the other week i saw a girl on the stationary bike with uggs on, and i wondered what was going on. but she was only on it for 5 minutes and she didnt seem to be working hard at all….
jon, you are nuts, there is absolutely NO replacement for biking outdoors! i hate biking on my trainer – 5 minutes in and im pretty much done for the day. even when im watching the jersey shore. every minute of fist pumping that i watch seems like an hour riding.
1.) I too forgot my Asics at the gym this week. Fortunately I was not wearing boots that day-but I still looked pretty awkward working out in my Keens, running shorts and a tank top on the elliptical.
2.) I skipped class this morning. And yesterday. And Wednesday. Now this wasn’t a huge deal in undergrad…..now that i’m in PA school, it’s a huge deal, and I really didn’t mean to (and I could get points taken away for one of my classes if a professor had decided to take attendance today-but he didn’t
).
3.) I think I’ve become a wussy about running when it’s dark and cold outside (I even ran on the treadmill this week (gasp!)). Or, in general doing anything when it’s dark and cold outside. I think we should all hibernate; or not have to drive to and from school when it’s dark; or maybe I should consider moving somewhere south of Chicago. Hmmm.
4.) Final one, I just wasted two hours that I should have been using to study for next weeks test or writing the paper that is due Monday that I haven’t started yet.
Back to work now…(and I promise I’ll reply to your email at some point…I have great intentions, but then life gets in the way
Um yes, i totally need this for my glutes! glad to hear the confessions are back.
While I cannot personally identify with the trainer (confession- I do not know how to ride a bike), I’ve learned what eases the long trainer sessions for my hub, Scott:
*Bikes face the outdoors (trees and a creek)
*I hang out nearby- either doing core work, yoga, lifting, or other. (We generally appreciate each other’s company.) or…
*I make dinner and/or healthy baked goods for post ride.
*Scott becomes “DJ Scott” and sets our place to wonderful music!
It works well for him/us.
Good Luck!
No shame in the UGG activities, I’ve lifted weights in them before!! (and will never forget my shoes again either!!)…I have done stim on quite a few patient’s gluteus!!
I hope you are having a wonderful weekend…I am keeping my eye on the mailbox!
xoxo!
There’s another Stuff Triathletes Say that I think is closer to the truth: http://youtu.be/IFH0MKzLfKU
Okay, I finally have a confession, two days late. I egosurfed, googling images connected to my name and found something truly horrific and wondered where in the world that came from – and it was from a deleted temporary blog I had once upon a time. Mea culpa! Took multiple deletes to bring it down, but… jeesh, it was so worth it. Now maybe people searching for me won’t be assaulted by that image.
@Kim K – So I think I’m on to something… rode the trainer again yesterday and made it 60 minutes. Which previously would have been no great feat, but given my mediocre 20 minutes the other day I was happy about it. The one difference was I really cranked on the resistance wheel and made sure it was snug / full pressure on the rear wheel. Which actually made it easier to pedal. Who woulda thunk?
@Brynna – Ohhh skipping class. Hopefully my parents don’t read the comments section, but absolutely got sucked into that during selected semesters. Still got great grades, but when you figure out the cost PER class, oh my God I started to feel guilty.
And I definitely also got super soft about running in less than “pleasant” conditions after my last surgery…. the treadmill really isn’t so bad. 
@Lindsay – Wonder if I can find one of these on craigslist….
OH! I should email you. A possible abroad job came up, and I have a couple Qs about New Zeland!
@Wendy – Sadly my “out the window” scenery is a 6th floor view of another apartment building. BUT having the windows open with fresh air helps… as does having company!! BTW your/Scott’s guest post is not lost on me – just have been busy with the new job transition and moving! But definitely in the lineup. Hopefully I can get working on that later this week!
@Lizzy – Gotta do what you gotta do!
Hahah now was that gluteal stim on your athlete patients…? OR the geri crowd? 
@SteveQ – “Carbon, or clinchers?”
YIKES on the google images. How does one even go about finding (/deleting) such things? Just search your name?
Yeah, I searched my name under Google Images. Just did yours – lots of x-rays, but nothing that needs deleting.